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The
Deviant Sexual Behavior Prevention Help Site This
is not professional therapy!
Introduction: It was more than just a casual search that brought you to this site. You are probably looking for answers to the reason(s) you have sexual thought about children, thoughts about exposing yourself in public, or thoughts about sexually assaulting (raping) someone. These thoughts are defined as deviant sexual thoughts, and result from Faulty Learning. Faulty Learning is not a sickness or craziness, it is the bonding of deviant sexual thoughts with sexual arousal. Some time during your childhood, you learned to bond these two things together, and it continued into your adulthood. Lets work together and try to stop a catastrophe from occurring in your life. Discussion: Here, you may find life changing help in preventing catastrophic results to yourself, and to any potential victim(s). You will learn about prevention, intervention, and resolution. You will also find some essential tools and methods that will aid you in reducing the potential of offending. You will see where the understanding of EMPATHY, can in itself, be an effective tool in deterring offending. There are devastating consequences in being labeled a sexual offender and having your picture posted on a "Sex Offender Web Site," or becoming a convicted felon, and finding yourself rejected and sanctioned by society - Stop-It-Now, before you get caught and are stopped by the law. You deserve this opportunity! The good news is that YES, it is possible for you to be successful in preventing sexual offending by not allowing yourself to be entrapped by your "Faulty Learning," and, by seeking the help of a Mental Health Care professional, who is skilled in therapeutic intervention. It is important for you to understand that as
an adult, you possess the ability and power to control your thinking and
belief system. It's a
matter of being honest and open with yourself about your deviant
thinking, and willingness to dispute it. You can
utilize a therapeutic method called Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy
(REBT), developed by Dr. Albert Ellis PhD. to assist you with this
method. With the use of his ABC
model, you may be able to alter your thinking.
Disputing is the key element in resolving
catastrophic thinking. You can find free information on "REBT,"
and Dr. Ellis on the Internet, or by clicking
here. Sexual offending is often preceded by fanaticizing, viewing adult or child pornography, engaging a child in sexually explicit conversation in internet chat rooms, and using a technique called grooming (gaining trust by means of manipulation) of a victim and/or their caretakers. Covert Sensitization: Is an intervention tool to cause discomfort through anxiousness, when having deviant sexual thoughts. In order for Covert Sensitization to be effective, you must make yourself "anxious (feel a physical discomfort)," when experiencing deviant sexual thoughts. For example, you can visualize yourself being chased by a police officer, being incarcerated, or by using a physical deterrent such as sniffing an ammonia inhalant, or by gingerly snapping a rubber band bracelet placed on your wrist. Another method of intervention is to never masturbate to deviant sexual thoughts. Stop immediately if you are having these thoughts. Prevention of sexual offending is a matter of reprogramming your brain, and re-learning appropriate sexual behavior. It is important that you reward yourself for changed irrational thinking. Reward can be as simple as self-praise, external praise, or perhaps even something of monetary value. This reinforces your new behavior. Many potential sexual offenders experience a dysfunctional or abusive family environment during early childhood. They see offending as an entitlement, or as a means to regain power and control over their own "out of control" lives, or as a means to resolve resentment, insecurity, inadequacy, low self-esteem, and other similar traits, by abusing a vulnerable victim. A significant precursor to sexual offending is horniness (an appetite for sex), and the need for a sexual outlet, or sexual gratification (climax), coupled with faulty learning. It then becomes a matter of Opportunity and Desire that enables you to discard your values and morals and let down your barriers and boundaries to commit an offense. It is not possible to offend without both of these elements present. The rational here is to remove yourself from high risk situations, either physical, or mental, thus lowering the potential for sexual offending. The importance of understanding Intimacy is essential in maintaining appropriate adult relationships. Intimacy is defined as: the process of sharing our lives with one another. This is one of the highest human needs. Intimacy occurs on many different levels, including: Social (friendship) Physical (sexual) Intellectual (exchanging of ideas) Emotional (sharing of feelings) Trust is the basis for all intimate relationships. Other prerequisites include: self-disclosure, shared control, sensitivity, ability to resolve conflict, autonomy, and vulnerability. Another extremely important and useful tool is the understanding of empathy. Take a few minutes to think of how a victim might feel and respond to your abuse. Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of a victim. In that letter, try to imagine the effects you may have had on their psychological well-being, their mistrust, their fear, or the stigma associated with the abuse. Has the victim developed low self-esteem or self-worth? Do they hate you? Elaborate on other issues that might affect them. Next, read it out loud to yourself. Not a very pretty picture is it? ________________________________________________________________________ Maintaining a healthy adult relationship is
therapeutic in providing an appropriate sexual outlet for gratification.
Where such a relationship is present, sexual satisfaction can be
achieved/fulfilled without faulty learning being the instigating factor.
Suggested reading: Harvelle Hendrix books: Getting the Love You Want - for couples Keeping the love you find - for singles
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